Tragedy

Tragedy jokes

Car

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

School

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

Shot

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

Helicopter

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

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  • Shooting Range

    When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

    Bro

    Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

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  • Death

    So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

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  • Joker

    Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

    Plane

    On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

    On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

    Submarine

    What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?

    Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."

    Shooting

    Mother got shot, damn.

    Father got shot, damn.

    Sister got shot, damn.

    Brother got shot, damn.

    Auntie running away with a shotgun!

    Titanic

    What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?

    He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.

    Orphan

    An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

    Sally

    Knock knock?

    Who's there?

    Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.

    Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.