Tragedy

Tragedy jokes

Orphan

19 views ·

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

Car

7 views ·

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

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  • Shot

    19 views ·

    Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

    Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

    Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

    Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

    School

    4 views ·

    I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

    Helicopter

    87 views ·

    I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

    I know, I'm going to hell!

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  • Bro

    478 views ·

    Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

    Shooting Range

    14 views ·

    When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

    Death

    91 views ·

    So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

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  • Joker

    10 views ·

    Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

    Titanic

    4 views ·

    What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?

    He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.

    Shooting

    9 views ·

    Mother got shot, damn.

    Father got shot, damn.

    Sister got shot, damn.

    Brother got shot, damn.

    Auntie running away with a shotgun!

    Orphan

    44 views ·

    An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

    Plane

    43 views ·

    On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

    On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.