Tragedy jokes

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?

One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?

Shooting up schoolchildren.

NWA: Straight Outta Compton.

Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

What song do you think was playing at the school?

"Pumped Up Kicks"

If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was such a good pilot.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.

What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?

There’s no way home.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.