I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
Worst Jokes Ever
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
Lol, I have no life :)
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?
A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
You're so fat, that you're fat.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
