Worst Jokes Ever
I ate a man because he was dead!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, βThatβs the fourth time youβve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesnβt it embarrass you?β
βWhy should it?β answered her spouse. βI keep telling them itβs for you.β
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.