Worst Jokes Ever
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!