Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Who am I?
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].