Worst Jokes Ever

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

God's consciousness: Art.

God's unconsciousness: Christianity.

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

"G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it!"

"Gotta number one victory royale."

What is an orphan's most relatable movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!

It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.

We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.

Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.

We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

What is the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

I don’t know what to call this chat.

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

Why did the cow cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?

Humpty Dumpty!