English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
