They jokes
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.