They jokes
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?
Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.