They jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."