They jokes
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.