They jokes
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
What's the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Why can’t an Orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.