Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Why at the two friends like the twin towers?
They fell apart.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball Because they don't know what is a homebase is.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What do the twin towers and the genders have in common,that they were only two.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
What are the similarities between apples and emo's? They both hang from trees
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
Why cant orphans play baseball Ans= They cant find home run
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Why do midgets laugh while they run? The grass tickles there balls
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
Why do girls not have balls
Because they don’t
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they take all the green cards.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
