They jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
Why is NASA so sus?
'Cause they wanted to see Uranus.
Why do most orphans rob banks?
Because they just want to feel wanted.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
Why can't America play Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
Why is America so bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost 2 towers.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.