Thereness jokes
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
When men watch football but not the women's version maybe there.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Q. What's the best part about 28 year olds?
A. There's 20 of them!
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.