Thereness jokes

Vegetarian

  • There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.

    They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.

  • 3
  • Question

  • BF: Babe, I have two questions.

    GF: Ok, ask!

    BF: Where have you been all my life?

    GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

    BF: Can you please go back there?

    Dog

  • There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.

    Money

  • This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

  • 1
  • Kid

  • Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

    Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

    Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

    Mom: Exactly.

  • 1
  • Dark Humor

  • Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

    Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

    Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

    Mom: Exactly.

  • 3
  • Family

  • These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

  • 2
  • Calculator

  • There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!