There jokes
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Hehehehe😛😛😛
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.