Therapist Jokes

What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life. I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd 9th and 15th letter of the alphabet doctor: oh I see me:ahhhh!!!!!

So a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist. “What seems to be the problem?” The therapist asked. “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” They said. So the therapist replies, “oh dear, that must be a problem.” “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light is really bright.”

Space therapist in between the e and the r. The rapists

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

If r kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life R kelly: I feel you

regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist

Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain

Why did the math book go to the psychologist? -- It had too many problems.

i'm so depressed i gave my therapist trauma.

The rapist is therapist

Lol

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Dont take drugs kids! Me: my therapist says i need those to live D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escourts to school counselor_

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

i’m start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me “how are you?” i can say “sad” and toss the confetti everywhere it’ll be like a real life imessage

therapist: and what is it about this generation that bothers you?

satan: i give them the intro tour and they just say shit like “ooo spooky lol”

therapist: that's not so bad

satan: when i showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said “big mood”

poooooooooooooooooooooo

john walk into pat at the barn he was dancing nacked in front of a tractor john said hey pat what you doing pat said well me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed so I went to a therapist and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)