Them jokes

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.

How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

Why do orphans have no home?

Because they didn't have a family to give them one.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.

I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.

Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

Why can't orphans be home schooled?

Because they have no parent to home school them.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

Why don't orphans like getting lost?

Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"