Theater jokes
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Pulling up to the movie theater
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
"Hamlet deez nuts go into your mouth??" 😂😂😂😂😂
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.