Theater jokes
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
I鈥檇 like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don鈥檛 let you bring your own snacks.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
What鈥檚 the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
"Hamlet deez nuts go into your mouth??" 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."