Theater jokes
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
"Hamlet deez nuts go into your mouth??" 😂😂😂😂😂
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
How sexy is Ariana Grande?
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.