The jokes
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
What's an orphan's most hated show?
The Fosters.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"