The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Memes
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.