The jokes
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"