The jokes
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
Memes
when ur bored in class so u post this and people start comenting the best shit
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"