The jokes

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What is the thing that orphans miss the most?

Their parents.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?

The emo is still hanging.

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

Who said white people can't jump?

Look at the footage from 9/11.

What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."