The jokes
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.