The jokes
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."