The jokes
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, All the worse jokes come from you.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.