The jokes
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: đ
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we donât have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.