The jokes
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
I made a website for orphans.
Silly me, I forgot the home page.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."