The jokes
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
The biggest legend is Technoblade.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.