The jokes

Ass

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Emo kid

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Orphan

Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?

It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Dad

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Emo

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

Memes

Cat

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Mother

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Fish

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

Friend

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Dad

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

Bank

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Orphan

Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

A: One knows where home is.

Magazine

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Vanilla

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

Lighter

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

Lightbulb

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.