The jokes
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
Memes
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.