The jokes

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet

What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?

My dick.

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."