The jokes
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Memes
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"