The jokes

The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.