The jokes

Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?

A: There's 20 of them.

Where do alien cows come from?

- The Milky Way.

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

"I C D K"

You know what I see?

DICK

I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?

She can't identify you.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."