The jokes
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"