The jokes
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
Memes
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.