The jokes
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Memes
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
π±ββοΈ π±ββοΈWhat is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isnβt working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.