The jokes
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Memes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.