The jokes

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.

Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.

Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬