The jokes
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Memes
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)