The jokes
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂