The jokes

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.

What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because he got stuck in a crack.

A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.

Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.

Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.