The jokes

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

In honor of Diddy:

The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?