The jokes
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Memes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay man's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
The joke above me sucks.
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.