The jokes

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

The joke above me sucks.

The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,

dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and

morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?

White vans.

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"