The jokes
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Memes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"