The jokes

I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.

I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

Why did the police go to a baseball game?

Because a player stole the base.

6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂

What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?

Spit out the feathers.

Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?

A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

Why can't Biden play chess?

Because he doesn't have the towers.