The jokes
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!
What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
Memes
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!
T-Series: Go away you f***!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To Mario.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
If you play Minecraft too much, you belong to the streets.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?