The jokes

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!

Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.

Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!

Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!

Why did Stephen Hawkins die? They unplugged the WiFi.

What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.

What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.

It’s like I always tell my kids:

"Two in the pink, one in the stink."

It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.

Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.

One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?

Nothing, he was dead.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.

What did the pedophile say to the kids?

"FUCK!"

What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?

Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

Peter: "Hi Jack."

Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j