The jokes

Beaner

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Child

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.

Tree

The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.

Memes

Man

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

Paul Walker

Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?

They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.

Roman

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

Teacher

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack

Skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.

God

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

War

We will win the war! ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ

Rhyme

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.

Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.

Hairline

It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

"Orphans get picked."

Priest

What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.